How I see it all...

I wake up this morning to eyes looking over me from across the room. As she sat there and stared, she simply said "You're in Trouble." Someone recently had a debate with me about the importance of honesty and though we all have different perspectives of the world, it is important that we communicate openly with those that matter to us. I will be truthful in confessing that I will lie if I feel that there is need. That I aside, I plunged into the matter of explaining that actuality of everything and my reason for doing that which I do.

Here in this very moment, I realize that this may very well turn into a journal. I have been wanting to find the means to type out my feelings all day but my thoughts seem to have been locked away in a box that's been buried into infinite depths. Here's my attempt.

Under a gray filled sky, I made the call and said I wouldn't be there. I needed time to myself. She said she understood and quickly faded away.

I couldn't hear what she was saying. I needed to run and breathe. When I came back, she was a million miles away.

As we talked in the living room, I told her I would be leaving. I wouldn't ever be back. She cried but knew that asking me to stay wouldn't change the reality of the matter.

I walked with her down the road and thought "C'est ma faut..." Tears streamed down her face but I couldn't tell as they were hidden by the rain.

What binds our hearts together and what force is there that tears them back apart? I have known love in the past and I know it now. Despite our experiences, do we ever truly understand it? Sometimes I will be asked "Do you love me? Are you in love with me? Why do you love me? How do you know?" I never know of an answer that's good enough. Is there a word or a description that can encompass this feeling and be spoken as a sufficient reply?

My breath catches in my chest. Subconsciously, I'm following you with my eyes as I'm entranced by the very idea that you exist. I hear your voice above all others though it was only a brief whisper. I'm pleased when you lock eyes but I blush on the inside and hope that I meet your approval. When you're away, time drags by til next we meet.

Why must humans love? Despite creating the happiest moments in a life, it brings forth complications that are enormous when compared to the trials of one that walks alone. I suppose it's a good thing that this pair of souls will be there to stand together through it.

Sadly, the divorce rate is incredibly high. I suppose that the whole "Til death do us part" for some isn't as serious as it needs to be. What would you do if you were immortal?



I'm very sorry. My words are coming out as sludge and I can't seem to organize my thoughts. It's as if the intended eloquence is being blended with trash and spewed from a hose all over this. I'll try another time when I am able to focus.